Work Avoidance

Outside the sun is shining, birds are chirping - it's a spectacular spring day. And here I am. . . in my apartment, pretending to be working. The best part is, Im avoiding web design. . . . by doing more web design. If only I could get paid to blog! (*maybe some day?!)

So I went camping last night! Much to the addition of my ego, I started the fire all by myself. I actually had the fire crackling before the boys had the tents up. You see, this is actually a very exciting thing! You have to know my father to truly understand why I'm so proud of this, but for those of you who do know him - you can fully appreciate the pride that I feel, and that I know he also will feel when I tell him! :)

I'm currently listening to Harry Potter, all in preparation of the book release - which one of my widgets tells me is being released in 98 days, 9 hours, and 36 minutes. :) I'm seriously in love with these books, and I'm having quite a bit of cognitive dissonance in deciding how I feel about book 7 being released. Harry has been a part of my life for so long. . I"m not sure my heart is ready to truly know how the series ends.. . My only reconciliation is that I'll be able to read it any time I want. . time and time and time again. My children will be raised on Harry Potter. . and I hope one of my little boys needs glasses, so I can slap some big black frames on him. :)

I love Spring. I love the fresh start that it gives us - especially in Cache Valley. For so many months, we're stuck in the smog - then spring comes! The cold melts away, the sun shines through, and everything starts to smell SOOO much better! I also love the fresh start that it gives my psyche. The other day I was walking home from class, and I couldn't help but smile. My life is in complete uproar, but I couldn't be upset. The view of the sun lighting up the whole valley took my breathe away. Along with spring comes finals. . that is one bad thing. And with finals comes my accounting of what I've done the past year. As I sit here thinking back on the past nine months. . . I don't know how to feel. I've grown up so much, more than I ever anticipated. I knew coming into the school year that Life was going to be changing, but I don't think I had ANY idea what I was in for. However, I'm happy to say - I"M OKAY! A few days ago, I was able to actually honestly say, I'm OK :)

When it comes to acting happy - I can usually fake it to everyone else, but deep inside I am falling apart - but not this time! This time my soul was actually smiling! I no longer had to pretend. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm so grateful for the fact that God knows what He's doing. So often we try and tell Him what to do with our lives, and then we throw a complete tissy when He kindly informs us our plan sucks. I tend to get angry when people don't like my plans - especially when I'm forced to change them. However, I'm so grateful for the fact that my Heavenly Father knows me better than I even know myself. Nine months ago, I was sure He was trying to kill me - that the trial he was giving me was some sick joke. But Today, I am relieved to say that had my plan gone through, I would have been very unhappy indeed. Thank heaven for trials - thank heaven for the fact that God is in control. How silly of me for distrusting him!!! For today, because of Him - and the pain he allowed me to experience, I'm OK!