New Blog

I've changed my blog address! it's blog.onegeekygal.com :) so go ahead and update your blogrolls! :)

This guy just explained exactly how i'm feeling

Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was Lyrics

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

Random

1. I think Jerky is a lovely snack - even if it does smell funny.
2. I can't stand bratty girls who are so blinded by their ego they don't know they're bratty.
3. CSI is quite possibly one of the coolest shows ever.
4. So is Snapped. I feel bad for those women. .. but then again they murdered their husbands. .. so I don't really feel bad for em.
5. I get addicted to TV shows. I do. I could just sit and program and watch those addicting TV shows for a long time.
6. If I go to the gym, i like it. It's just the whole getting ready to go to the gym that I don't like.
7. I think Disney severely screwed over the current view on love/dating.
8. I love how we meet some of our closest friends in the most random ways.
9. Heartbreak sucks. I wish there was a pill that would cure heartbreak. Or rather a pill that let you travel through time to where your heart doesn't hurt anymore. Since time 'heals all wounds'.
10. Boys aren't confusing. I was watching one of my reality shows - and a girl said, "boys are so confusing". but they're not. boys act exactly like they're thinking. They don't play games. It's girls that try to justify their actions and so we think they're playing games. but they're not. They're just not really interested.
11. Most of the time I wish boys were smart enough to be complicated.
12. I have already had 3 diet cokes today. and it's only 3 P.M.
13. I get nervous/scared of the number 13.
14. Sometimes, when i'm at work, i put my headphones in just so people won't talk to me. :)
15. I'm usually late for work.
16. I like to turn the music up really loud in my car - sometimes just so i can see the reaction of the people in the cars next to me.
17. I'm a cowgirl at heart - but you'd never know it by looking at me.
18. I really want to move to New York or some cool city. but sometimes dreams are just that.
19. I think it would be cool if we could just give people CD"s with songs that express our emotions to them. Like a big "screw you" or "sure love ya" cd. instead of explaining how you feel.
20. People can give me their opinions all they want - but i'm a stubborn girl who has to figure things out herself. so please save your breathe.
21. I love candy. I could eat only candy and pop and i'd die a happy girl :) i might die a little ealier. ..but i'd be happy.
22. Young Love messes with your head.
23. I hate when friendships grow cold. And then you have to see that person. Is there anything more difficult than talking to someone who used to know you inside out - but now you just have surface convo with?
24. I sneeze a lot. and always in big numbers! like 5 or 6 at a time. I get it from my grandpa - at least that's what my mom tells me :)
25. I have a habit of wanting to run/avoid problems. I like being happy - even if it's naively happy.
26. I cannot wait til 5 o clock.
27. I'm ready for a new town/ new job. I'm getting antsy about my current situation.


I can't think of anymore right now. .. but have no fear! I will!!!

An Infinite Loop

For those of you who don't know me. .. well. Lets just say that a word that could easily describe me would be - stubborn. I am. Plain and simple. Sometimes I do the dumbest things. . just because one time i thought it was a good idea. . .and my pride won't ever let me admit to being wrong. Ever. Well. .. i guess sometimes I'll admit it. . . but only after circumstances have allowed me to spin the situation so that i wasn't ever really wrong. .. but things just worked out. . differently than i had planned.

I'm currently experiences one of those - not wrong. . but not 100% correct times. Last night. . . all of a sudden. .. it hit me. one of those - 'hey! Stupid!!! wake up and pay some freakin attention to what you're doing' moments. It was crazy. One minute i was continuing on in my bullheaded naivete - and the next. . . I'm staring reality in the face. and it was a harsh reality too.

I'd like to think I'm a smart girl. .. that i can always be level-headed. .. calm and collected. That my awesome computer skills transfer over to my ability to cope with life situations. But I'm realizing that life isn't composed of if/then statements that I determine. I can write a program, and I know exactly how the computer will respond. if this happens, then this will follow. Else - do this. It's simple. And my little nerd brain has attempted to write a lovely little program for my life. . .and it's ended up being an infinite loop! (yeah. . most people are saying, what the hell are you talking about Kat? but i don't care - cause it's a perfect metaphor). You see, life differs from my programs in the fact that there are other players in this game. . and try as i might to completely understand their actions - i can't. I predict how they will act, and try to write that into my plan. . . but what happens when my predictions are so completely wrong? infinite loop. and my brain just starts spinning. So. .. there i was. Spinning in my seemingly endless plan. .. when SNAP! someone hit the restart button. And man. .. did i restart.

And it was fabulous. The pride fog lifted. . the endless 'wake up kat - you're being ridiculous' that my family and friends have been trying to pound into my head finally took effect. Whereas before - i had the situation under control. . and i knew things that they didn't. . .after the restart i finally realized that they had seen things that my little Bullheaded plan didn't put in as a variable. Silly me. Not declaring all my variables when i first write the program. Or declaring them wrong. . . and then they put me into that mess. If you're not a programmer. .. I'm sure i've confused you. but I just had to shout it out. That I've restarted. no. better than that. I threw away the whole freakin operating system. and I switched to something better. So screw you Windows. I'm an Apple Girl. Creative, Smart, Adaptable. oh - not to mention Unique and extremely good looking. :)

My First Post of 2009

So. It's 2009. It doesn't feel much different than 2008 though. I was thinking about that as the seconds ticked down to the New Year. What if we had this massive plot to change all the clocks in the world. . . make people think it wasn't the New Year. It still would be, of course. .. . but people wouldn't know. So I don't think it's a real change that happens. . . just the difference of one number when you date your checks.


So. . . I coudln't really think of what to blog about today. So I googled blog ideas. That is correct. I looked it up in a search engine. and got little results. So I thought to myself. . . . how awesome would it be if we had a creative search engine? for those days that you just have no creativity - just ask the search engine. I can't wait for the day that technology can solve my every problem.

As I was thinking about what to blog about. .. i thought of my friends and what they blog about. I don't have a husband, a pregnancy, or children. So all those are out. I could talk about my job. . . . but most people get bored when I talk about how awesome my computer is, and about how the analytics today told me that New Years Special sold more treadmills than New Years Sale. (In my job, I look at trends of how internet shoppers are acting, and then taylor our sites to match those trends. and let me tell you. . . . people kinda amaze me with how they act online.)

I could talk about my adventures snowboarding yesterday, or the movie I saw last night. Single life doesn't really have anything amazing to talk about. . . It all seems to blur into one big night of fun. oh Fun. I once had an institute teacher who said that my generation was drivin by Fun. That the 1920-1950 generation was driven by "what is right". That the 1960-1980 generation is driven by "what will get me ahead" and that my generation is driven by "what is fun".

What is sad. .. . is that I believe he was dead on with this. We are a generation who has been entertained since we were toddlers. I realized that this is true, even in my own life as I was snowboarding yesterday. I was getting my whole snow outfit on, and I heard myself say "i can't forget my ipod. I can't handle snowboarding without my ipod." ok. Lets talk about how many things are wrong with that statement and my addiction to my iPod:

1. I can't handle snowboarding. - ok little miss spoiled brat. You should always be extremely grateful that you have the opportunity, the gear, the gas money to snowboard. once a year even. and I get to go all the time. . . . so yes. wow.

2. At what point did snowboarding become dull by itself?

3. I can't do anything without my ipod. I will actually drive back home from the gym if my ipod quits. because I can't handle working out without it.

4. I actually do get bored when i'm snowboarding without my ipod. Because it ads to an already awesome experience. How sad is that?

I've also realized that i'm used to being comfortable. All the time. and I don't like it at all when i'm cold, or i hurt a little. We've been trained to be spoiled. I have to go outside and start my car before I leave for work, because I hate being cold on the drive there. I bought a spaceheater so my cubicle won't get too cold. . . . i could go on and on. but I've just been thinking about how even in the recession we are all so spoiled. We take for granted the littlest things, and get annoyed/bored/upset when our smallest whims aren't satisfied. I just would like to challenge myself, and all those others who are part of the "fun" generation to take a step back. Lets look at how ridiculous our craving for fun and constant comfort actually are.